After graduating high school on the Pacific island of Guam, Niece left the warm tropical sunshine and gorgeous beaches a couple of years ago to come live with us. I’d like to say it’s because we’re really kewl and she knew our influence would have a positive impact on her life, but the reality is we’re cheap rent while she prepares to attend nursing school.
To go from childless to a nineteen-year-old continues to be a mind-boggling adjustment for us, even now. (That’s putting it mildly!) For instance, recently she’d barged in on a private moment Hubby and I were sharing in the kitchen. Her response sparked the title for this post. Needless to say, it killed the moment, and we were forced apart. 
Which begs the question: why is it that teens find it acceptable when their peers participate in some questionable public displays of affection while their parents (or pseudo-parents, in our case) are chastised in the privacy of our homes? Really? Do they not know how they got here in the first place? Do they not realize the amount of energy it took to create them? (Just because it was fun doesn’t make it any less physically demanding. Just sayin’!) And then there’s the whole pressure to keep them alive until they reach adulthood and can finally leave. (Although I do understand some of them do come back – yikes!)
One FaceBook friend posted that her husband, who’d been away on a business trip for the week, was returning home that evening, and that she had a special reunion planned. There were no details, nothing the least bit graphic, yet her son threatened to “unfriend” her, citing his belief that she was “gross.” Sigh.
There’s nothing wrong with a physically and emotionally healthy relationship between two people committed to each other. And what a beautiful example those moments are for kids to view what commitment looks like.
But, really, commitment is more than that, too. It’s making sure Niece catches the bus on time and taking her to school if she doesn’t. It’s folding laundry, scooping out the catbox, and taking out the trash each night. It’s making sure my water glass is filled before we go to bed because I’m too exhausted to notice. It’s holding my hand while we fall asleep, and kissing me on the temple until I wake up when the alarm goes off and I don’t hear it right away. (Wow. Hubby does a lot. Must find a way to thank the man!) And, yes, it’s stealing a kiss in the kitchen when we’re alone.
See, this is the stuff we romance writers strive for in our stories, no matter if we write sweets or erotica. In our books, it takes a lot to earn a happily-ever-after, and maintaining that takes an equal amount of work and commitment to the relationship. Personally, it’s way better than a screaming match between two people any day!
What’s the sweetest moment you’ve ever remembered your parents (or other influential adults in your life) sharing? Did you blurt out a version of, “Dude! Ohmigod! Sooo gross!” at the sight? Tell!
-Melia
Hi Melia, I enjoyed your post. I wouldn’t take her reaction personally. Here’s my story: My husband wrote me a poem for my birthday. This is a man who doesn’t read anything not sports related and very rarely shows physical affection for me in front of anyone. This poem was about our courtship and our lives together. We both got a little emotional. Our kids, older teens, looked quite uncomfortable, but they didn’t say anything. I did hear the ‘oh gross’ line from son when he came from college and I mentioned that now his dad and I would have to wear swim suits in our newly repaired hot tub. But it didn’t bother me in the least. I suspect that young people don’t really think adut displays of affection are gross, it just embarrasess them.
Hi Tammy!
A poem — I love it! And I love that he shared it in front of your kids, too. That’s awesome! I have to admit that “kids” confuse me a bit, not having raised any and all the joys that come with that. Perhaps I just don’t understand them.
Thanks for stopping by.
Happy writing,
Melia
Hi Melia,
Raising a 19 year old niece sounds challenging. I’m sure it’s given you an entirely new perspective on parenting. Be glad you don’t have to change diapers. On the other hand, introducing something new into your marriage might be good for your relationship with your husband. Think of it this way, new memories are being made–memorable ones that perhaps you can look back on later and giggle about—especially if said niece gets married and has offspring of her own.
Hello Vonnie!
Thanks for dropping by. Yes, there have definitely been some interesting memories made, and more to come with Niece! Next year, it appears her little sister will live with us, too. Oh, boy!! Question of the decade: Will we still be sane by the time Niece 2 leaves our nest? LOL.
-Melia