Once upon a time, this girl met this guy in college where, during their first conversation, they debated the proliferation of nuclear weapons. After they learned to appreciate the other’s point of view (even though, technically, the girl was right), they fell madly in love, and eight years later got married on a South Pacific island by a priest from New York City. It’s been twenty-one years, and they’re still married.
I swear it’s all true!
I look back on all this and sometimes shake my head in wonder. We’re two completely different personalities from two completely different worlds – Hubmeister’s all East Coast logic, and I, frankly, am not. (Hello! I grew up on Guam!)
Don’t get me wrong. I think logic’s fine, but I also think that sometimes you just gotta do stuff like buy that cute pair of teal, leopard print pumps because not only are they adorable, and make your legs look a mile long, but they’re also ON SALE! Personally, the sale part seems logical to me. Unfortunately, Hubmeister rolls his eyes. (Like it really matters.) Ahem. But I digress. . ..
As a romance writer, it’s my responsibility to create a hero and a heroine so perfectly matched by the end of the book that readers think, “Well, duh! Of course they belong together.” But what, exactly, does that mean? They both enjoy exotic vacations? Neither one of them likes disco music? Or perhaps their idea of the perfect evening involves a hot tub. . . a bottle of champagne. . . and . . . well, use your imagination! 🙂
My take is this: a perfectly matched relationship causes both the hero and the heroine to bring out the best in each other – particularly when times are rough. (‘Cause, gee, isn’t it easy to be your best when life is all champagne and dark chocolates?) It’s the kind of relationship where each is willing to fight for what’s best for them as a couple, not just for what’s best individually. And it’s the kind of relationship that neither can easily walk away from when both recognize they’re stronger individually because they’re together.
Twenty-one years ago, Hubmeister promised me three things if I married him:
1. We would never own a station wagon;
2. Life with him would never be boring;
3. He would always love me.
He’s kept those promises, and I honestly believe this incredible man brings out the best in who I am – including the teal pumps, of course! So are we perfectly matched? Ask me in another twenty-one years. 😉
What’s your idea of the perfect hero/heroine?
– Melia
Congrats on being married that long… as someone who has been married 24 years, I know how wonderful and challenging and amazing it can be. Sometimes in the space of a minute!
Aw! Congratulations, and happy anniversary!
Happy Anniversary, Melia! I think there is definitely something in the opposites attract rule. Once the attraction is there though there needs to be some shared values. Obviously you two have that. TO find someone who helps you be the best YOU ever is a true blessing.
Aw, Melia, this is so sweet. Congratulations on twenty-one years!
Thanks, Teri! It continues to be one heck of a ride. 🙂
Hugs,
Melia
Thanks, Eilis! I’m still grinning, so it’s all good!
Hugs,
Melia
Thanks, Maggie! I consider myself very blessed in the Hubmeister department! I mean, really, what were the chances? 🙂
Hugs,
Melia
Thanks so much! I figure having to train another guy would take way too long! LOL. Seriously, I think I’m one lucky girl!
Hugs,
Melia
What a great post! I think that romance writers are so in love with love that we’re compelled to create stories of others experiencing the whole falling in love process. I’ve been married 22 years and I wouldn’t trade him in for a new model!
Hi Tammy!
In love with love — never thought about it that way. Nice! And congrats on 22 years! 🙂
Hugs,
Melia
just wanted to say my husband and I are diametric opposites…from religion, to politics, etc. sometimes we wonder how we work so well 🙂 congrats on your long and wonderful marriage!
Congrats and happy anniversary! I think your view on the perfect hero/heroine match is spot on. I think that is why I am with my husband. We are alike in many ways like our love of Doctor Who and anime. We are also very different too and that is what brings out the best in each other.
Congrats to YOU, Barbara!
Have a happy week,
Melia
Thank you! I think that there has to be stuff in common, no doubt. But, like you, the differences are what flavor a relationship. I think it’s how we learn and grow. (Assuming, of course, that the differences are healthy and relationship-enhancing!)
Have a great week,
Melia